Sometimes, you tend to scan a room full of people. Some
people you just see in the crowd, others you look at. Those who attract you or
intrigue you, those who you wish to know a little more of.
I was once looked at by the person I also looked at. And our eyes
met a few times before he approached me to exchange words. Words of interest
and similar tastes. A laugh or two were shared and after that meeting, conversations
took place in a digital world where time and space didn’t matter for neither of
us.
Time passed and the exchange continued though not as frequent,
but whenever we saw each other from across a room, we’d find the time to tease one
another by making jokes about our appearances, and that only meant that we were
still looking at each other.
One day a mistake was made, what seemed like a good idea at the
spur of a moment and a few kisses changed everything. The thing about that is
that timing is everything, and the fact that people look at each other does not
necessarily have a romantic meaning behind it. But what’s done is done, and
after that there was no going back.
When the conversations, teasing and exchanges stopped all
together. That’s when the time and space that once didn’t matter started to
seem longer with each passing day. It hasn’t been that long since that day, but
it feels like a few years has gone by. And though I try not to, I still find
myself looking at him instead of the crowd. But I can tell that he stopped
looking at me and just sees me while he scans the room full of people.
I wish that day had never happened, and I’m so very sorry
that it did. Because it hurts more than I let myself believe. He no longer
looks at me.
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