Willing smile

Behind her willing smile dwelled a sadness deeper than the ocean, filled with the tears she had poured over the years of unspoken words and kept feelings. She thought a taken risk will break her heart, but she never realized it was, in fact, a broken heart what she had for never trying.

The one who looked at me

Sometimes, you tend to scan a room full of people. Some people you just see in the crowd, others you look at. Those who attract you or intrigue you, those who you wish to know a little more of.

I was once looked at by the person I also looked at. And our eyes met a few times before he approached me to exchange words. Words of interest and similar tastes. A laugh or two were shared and after that meeting, conversations took place in a digital world where time and space didn’t matter for neither of us.

Time passed and the exchange continued though not as frequent, but whenever we saw each other from across a room, we’d find the time to tease one another by making jokes about our appearances, and that only meant that we were still looking at each other.

One day a mistake was made, what seemed like a good idea at the spur of a moment and a few kisses changed everything. The thing about that is that timing is everything, and the fact that people look at each other does not necessarily have a romantic meaning behind it. But what’s done is done, and after that there was no going back.

When the conversations, teasing and exchanges stopped all together. That’s when the time and space that once didn’t matter started to seem longer with each passing day. It hasn’t been that long since that day, but it feels like a few years has gone by. And though I try not to, I still find myself looking at him instead of the crowd. But I can tell that he stopped looking at me and just sees me while he scans the room full of people.

I wish that day had never happened, and I’m so very sorry that it did. Because it hurts more than I let myself believe. He no longer looks at me.

Realization

And I've come to realize that life is nothing like the movies. When you leave, no one follows after you. You end up by yourself with only sadness and a broken heart.

Lo que pasó

No fue como pensé que sería
Ni de la forma que quería,
Pero pasó.

Pasó un beso y luego dos.
Una sola caricia fue suficiente para despertar en mí una pasión que había olvidado que llevaba adentro.
Un sol se encendió entre tus labios
Una luna se llenó de tu abrazo
Y miles de estrellas aparecieron para destellar el reflejo de tu belleza.

No fue como pensé que sería
Ni de la forma que quería.
Así como pasó, dijiste adiós como si nada.
Quedó solo mi corazón roto.
Y yo, recogiendo los pedazos de lo que se convertiría en un simple recuerdo de lo que pasó.

No fue como pensé que sería
Ni de la forma que quería,
Pero pasó...

Ya pasó.

Duele

He decidido sentarme a escribir. No porque quiero, sino porque lo necesito. Cada tecla que presiono es un grito silencioso que suelta mi alma. Duele.

Y es que cuando recibes una noticia inesperada y no sabes cómo reaccionar, decides callar. No porque no tengas nada que decir, sino porque no sabes si tienes derecho a reclamar.

Sin embargo, duele.

Duele, porque sientes que fue muy tonto pensar que realmente le importabas a la gente pero solo buscaban su propio bienestar.

Duele, porque no importó cuánto demostraste lo que significan para ti, nunca te dieron la misma importancia o al menos la que merecías.

Duele, porque te importó, y te acostumbraste a la rutina. De esas que siempre criticaste, pero aceptaste hasta formar parte de ella.

Duele, porque lo viste venir. Esa bomba de tiempo que sabías que detonaría en cualquier momento pero decidiste ignorar (como si evadir la realidad funcionara).

Y lo peor de todo es que duele, porque al fin y al cabo todo llega a su final, pero no pensaste que este fuera a ser el tuyo...

Por eso, he decidido sentarme a escribir. No porque quiero, sino porque lo necesito. Porque cada tecla que presiono es un grito silencioso que suelta mi alma y duele.

Duele mucho.

Reality

I've only been in love with ideas,

and never been given the chance to discover if they're real. -Sunny

Rain

Watching the rain fall on a dark night, knowing I'll never see your beautiful face again. It won't be the same, but it'll be okay. Oh, it'll be okay; I keep saying that to myself.

But that's just it, I don't want to accept it.
I don't like this change, I don't like it at all. 

I just want to keep seeing your face every day and every night. And, if the rain falls, have you by my side for the rest of my life. 

Please, don't leave.

I begged you to stay. Don't leave...

But you did.

And it's been raining ever since.

Time has passed. And as I watch and feel the rain fall, every night seems lighter and I know I'll never see your face again. It won't be the same, but it'll be okay.

It has to be okay.

Because, even though you left, the rain didn't.

And rain makes everything better.